Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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