I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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