He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
