He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
