sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
