My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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