Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He better not be in your backpack
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
