spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
