if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
