so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
