Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sarcasm needs its own font
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
