i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
