I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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