10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
