It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
