he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
