Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
