Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
