I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
