you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
