You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
