i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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