We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
