But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
