Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
