well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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