Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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