oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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