i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize