I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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