I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
