We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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