hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's official drugs can't kill me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
