Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
