Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
