he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
