Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize