Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
