Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
