the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You need Xanax blowdarts
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
