Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
