My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
