HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
