Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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