so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
