Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize