Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
