i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
