I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
