Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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