He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
