called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
