nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
