Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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