Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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