If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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