I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the day after is always just damage control
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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