just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
