dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
