Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
