margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
