Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize