I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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