But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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