Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
