I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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