It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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