His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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