I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
