Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
